Break Free from Obesity

Today, 4/5/10,  is my one month anniversary since beginning the Take Shape For Life (TSFL) program using Medifast replacement meals.  After one full month I have lost a total of 25.5 pounds.  Yay me!!! :)

I have been examining some of my old eating habits and one of them I'd like to write about tonight is mindless eating.  I cannot believe how much food I use to eat because I was so "mindless" about the amount of food I was consuming. 

At a young age, I developed the habit of "stuffing" myself with food when I wanted to avoid a situation.  My Mom died when I was 15 years old and if I wasn't turning to "partying" with my friends to escape the loss -- I was turning to food so I didn't have to think about how sad I felt. 

I cannot begin to guess how many times I wished I could turn back the clock because I missed my Mom!  I was mentally suffering from the "if only's" because I wished I could have said or done something differently before she died.  To get out of that mental suffering, I was either drinking too much or eating too much so I could escape how I was thinking or feeling.

I was very fortunate that a series of events (a whole other story) led me out of the "hell of drinking" and I got sober on June 15, 1992.  I am very content with no longer running from life on life's terms only to drown my sorrows in a damn drink.  Believe me, I know that drinking is always an option but to me it will always be the wrong choice!

Unfortunately, I never found my way out of the hell of eating against my own will until I found TSFL.  Heck, looking back, I can see how combining TV time with binge eating is a serious train wreck for good health but knowing that intellectually didn't stop me.  There was no stopping me!!!

Afterall, munching on who knows how many calories while watching TV is the greatest way to escape life's troubles AND remain sober at the same time.  I'm not drinking myself into oblivion any more.  I will get a handle on this food thing when I'm damn good and ready but until then I am going to eat whatever I want whenever I want!

Believe me, mindless eating is the biggest and badest habit that I need to break free from if I am ever going to be a healthy weight again.  Thankfully, I believe that Medifast is the solution to my success in finally kicking this obesity dilemma once and for all.

To me, mindless eating while watching TV is about shutting our brains off from thinking about whatever it is we don't want to think about.  Then the enormous amounts of food is to "stuff" what we are feeling.  If I'm too busy eating then I don't have to think about how I'm feeling and if I'm stuffing myself to not feel it keeps me busy enough to not have to think.  What a hell of a way to live -- or should I say exist?

Well, I am working on getting honest with myself about my obesity and how I got this way.  The truth is I have longed to be thin for years but too busy avoiding my feelings.  Let's get real, too lazy to do the leg work necessary to lose the weight and keep it off.  Damn, I have been literally stuffing my feelings for over 25 years, which has resulted in my becoming morbidly obese.  It makes me ashamed that I could be in so much denial that I was eating with such wreckless abandon.  Unfortunately, that is the truth of it in a nutshell.  I was eating with wreckless abandon and not willing to stop until now.

Thanks to bad habits coupled with mindless eating I reached my all time highest weight this year.  One month ago today I decided it was time to get off the damn Obesity Merry-Go-Round and do something about my weight -- finally.  Thankfully, devine intervention led me to TSFL and a wonderful health coach that got me started on Medifast.

I have accumulated many bad eating habits over the years so it is going to take time to undo the harm I have done by running from my thoughts and feelings.  Today I am no longer running away nor am I stuffing myself with food.  It feels good to think about what I am actually eating and not feel like a slave to food.  I wholeheartily identify with the concept of "Eating to live NOT living to eat!"

Thankfully, Medifast meal replacements and the book, "Dr. A's Habits of Health" have me learning how to eat the right type of foods, right-sized portions and  I'm eating every 2-3 hours so I am never hungry.  I am amazed that I do not feel deprived whatsoever.  Medifast is the perfect remedy for a mindless eater like myself.  I simply follow the 5 and 1 plan and I don't have to think about it! ;)

Thank you Medifast!!!

~MJ